I have always loved the idea of having my very own blog...so here it is!! I can finally share my thoughts with the world....
> Back to HomepageHello again fellow neocties users! It has been a while, or at least it feels that way. Life has thrown many lemons but even then, things have been good. I bought myself Dead Rising!! And guess what...it actually works on my shitty little laptop!! I am so BEYOND happy!! It has been rather fun so far, but I have been very unsucessful at saving most surviors. I was only able to save Leah and Sophie from the beginning of the game (so far), everyone else either died because of the convicts, or zombies. Sucks but, what can you do? Lmao. So much to talk about in regards to that, but I think I'll talk about it in full another day..
School has been alright, art has been a plesant expirence and Womens history has been rather ineresting...and barely any homework!! The only assignments we truly have are just reading assignments along with some essays every here and there. Math I ended up dropping, for reasons I will also go on about another day. I am a little tired, but I really wanted to update my blog 2day...its been too long!!
My music broke!! It keeps saying request not found :c I have done everything I could, but it is still broken....if anyone has any solutions please do tell me in my guestbook!!(UPDATE: it fixed itself i guess lol)
Hello again, today's blog might be a bit of a downer, so I apologize in advance. I have been thinking a lot about me, and who I am. In recent years, I have really struggled to understand me, and who I am. It's hard to explain this, and that makes this all the more frustrating. It feels like this "persona" I have created for inetracting with those I am not close to has bled into who I really am. And the people pleasing aspects of myself has bled into close relationships, ruining them. It ruins my chances to truly be close to people. But, honestly, at the end of the day I guess I never really knew how I was, maybe I was just always like this, and apart of me that dislikes this idea is just rejecting it. In complete denial that this is just how I am. I really do not know, but it is exhausting to handle, regardless. I have an idea it isn't who I am because I always find myself exhausted after these specific interactions, or annoyed. It is so hard. Even in my closests relationships, I feel exhausted. I do not fully feel like me. It feels like I am just pushing things out, things I think they would like, because I so desprately want to fit in. Even in current friend groups I do that, and its made me feel i guess distant from them in a way. I do not feel like I belong.
Anyway, I added music! The track I chose is from a 90s point and click adventure game I found particularly interesting. This track feels very fitting for a Neocities page, especially one that sorta heavily resembles a Geocities one. Hard to explain right now, I am tired lol.
Hello and good evening to all, today's post will likely be a short one. I have really come to love neoctities, and my little website. My website might be the most ugly website out there in the big 26, but I would not want it any other way. It feels cozy, it feels warm. Neoctities feels so much more welcoming than any other social media site out there right now, and I am so happy I moved from instagram to here. Instagram does nothing but rot my brain and honestly kind of piss me off, critical thinking does not exists like, at all over there.
Moving on though, I have a song recommendation for you all tonight, and I hope you enjoy:
I have finally learned how to center my text, well sort of. I was hoping that I could center only specific texts, but it seems I can only do it with all text. Oh well. But other than that, it has been a fine day indeed. I have been wanting to write on my blog for a little while now, but I have not found the motivation to do so until now. So yay lol, I am hoping to make this more frequent now that I have everything set up, but I am not sure. I start college back up again on the 17th, and something tells me I will be busy. I'm only taking 3 classes, statitics, women's history, and beginners art which will take place a few hours before midnight. But I have already seen my schedule for my statistics class and oh boy...quizzes every week, 5 assignments on top of that with a weekly discussion. Now, this is likely the norm for a math class, but on top of being busy with my other classes...this may not end well. I also struggle a lot with math, so this also makes me worried. Fingers crossed this goes well. But for now, I am enjoying the little time I have left with my good friends, and kitty Terra.
I have also been getting into the works of Harlan Ellison, who has comforted me through the stress I currently am feeling. The first work of his I had heard of was, of course, "I have no mouth and I must scream". This was more than a few years ago, I had heard about it through an iceberg video by That Creepy Reading. He was discussing some of the most distrubing games, and the 1995 point and click adventure version of "I have no mouth and I must scream" was mentioned. It caught my attention, but by that point I did not own a PC, and I really did not want to just watch someone play it on YouTube. Years went on, and I forgot about.
Skip to now, a close friend of mine is telling me about Harlan, and how interesting of a person he was. My friend shows me interviews, and man, he was right. He was a very blunt person, he did not care if what he said could get him in trouble. If he felt strongly about something, the world would know. He thought a popular author was garbage? Oh boy, he was going to talk about it! But it really is a joy listening to him. His interesting stories, his extreme determination to make sure his work was never messed with. Very admirable person, I must admit. These made me want to start getting into his work, mostly his less talked about work, so really, anyhting other "I have no mouth and I must scream". I started with listening to his audiobook of "Jefty is 5", which I loved. Then recently, my good buddy gave me his copy of "Spider Kiss" to keep, and oh boy, am I happy!!! I am not too far in, only 2 chapters, but I love what I am seeing so far.
